It's 9pm. You've asked your child to brush their teeth four times. They've gotten out of bed twice for water, once because there's a weird noise, and once just because. You're exhausted. They seem wired. And you have to do this again tomorrow night.

Bedtime battles are one of the most common struggles for families of children with neurodevelopmental differences — and one of the most fixable.

Why Bedtime Is Hard for These Kids

Sleep differences are common in autism and ADHD

Research shows that 50–80% of autistic children experience sleep difficulties, compared to 25–40% of neurotypical children. Children with ADHD have similarly high rates. These aren't just behavioural — there are often underlying neurological differences affecting melatonin production, circadian rhythms, and the ability to "switch off" the brain.

Transitions are hard

Going to sleep requires transitioning away from preferred activities, tolerating uncertainty (what will I dream about? what if something happens?), and managing the sensory experience of lying still in the dark. For many kids, that's a lot.

Sensory issues affect sleep

Bedding textures, pyjama seams, temperature, light, sound — the bedroom environment can be highly activating for sensory-sensitive children. What feels fine to you might feel intolerable to them.

The Power of a Bedtime Visual Routine

A predictable, visual bedtime sequence does several things at once:

• Removes the need for repeated verbal prompting (and the arguments that come with it)
• Signals to the brain that sleep is coming, helping melatonin production
• Gives the child a sense of control and predictability
• Reduces anxiety about what comes next

Building an Effective Bedtime Routine

Start earlier than you think you need to

Most families try to start the bedtime routine too late. If your child needs to be asleep by 8pm, the routine should begin at 7pm — not 7:45. Rushing a child with executive function or sensory differences through bedtime is a recipe for meltdown.

Include a sensory wind-down

The hour before bed should be low-stimulation. This means:

• Screens off at least 60 minutes before sleep (the blue light and stimulation make it harder to settle)
• Dimmed lights throughout the house
• Calm, quiet activities like reading, colouring, or light stretching
• A warm bath or shower (the subsequent body temperature drop helps trigger sleepiness)

Make the sequence visual and consistent

Post the bedtime routine somewhere your child sees it. Walk through it together at first, then gradually step back and let them lead. The goal is for your child to eventually manage the routine independently — the visual schedule is the scaffold that gets them there.

Address the bedroom environment

• Try weighted blankets for children who need deep pressure
• Use blackout curtains and white noise if light or sound are triggers
• Offer seamless pyjamas or let them sleep in comfortable day clothes if textures are an issue
• Keep the room cool — most people sleep better in a cooler environment

Build in connection time

Many children resist bedtime because it means separation from their parent. Building in 10–15 minutes of dedicated connection time (reading together, talking about the day, cuddles) can dramatically reduce the curtain calls.

When to Seek Help

If your child is genuinely unable to fall asleep despite a consistent routine, wakes frequently through the night, or is significantly sleep-deprived, speak to your GP or paediatrician. There are medical interventions (including melatonin) that can help when behavioural strategies alone aren't enough.

Start Tonight

Our Bedtime Routine Chart is a ready-to-use visual schedule designed for children with sensory and learning differences. Download, print, and start your new bedtime routine tonight.